Friends everyone has as represented by drugs and alchohol

Whiskey

The first time you hung out with them was a nightmare. Whether it's because they have a strong personality or you were too immature, you swore them off forever after that first night. Flash forward a few years and they're a staple of any night on the town. It might be a quick greeting at the bar or a long conversation at the pre-game but either way you're always glad to see them now that you know how to handle them.




Light beer

There was nobody cooler when you were fifteen. You couldn't believe someone out of high school would want to hang out with you, even if it was in the middle of the woods or an abandoned building. You couldn't wait until Monday to tell your classmates all the crazy shenanigans the two of you got up to over the weekend, although they never seemed as impressed as you thought they'd be. Your parents flipped when they found out the two of you were hanging out but they were powerless to stop it once you went to college. Your week revolved around their visits and you marveled at how easy it was for them to come every weekend. It wasn't too long after turning 21, however, that they started to seem trashy and kind of pathetic. Now you just feel embarrassed for how great you thought they were and generally avoid them at parties, even if they are tearing it up at beer pong.

Pot

You're pretty selective with how you spend your time with them. Your friends get annoyed when you bring them to the bar and you're always nervous they're going to say the wrong thing around your family, but there's no one else you'd rather have a lazy day with. They have every video game console going back to SNES and the best DVD collection you've ever seen. Watching a movie with them is like listening to live director's commentary full of great trivia and hidden meanings you didn't catch before. You feel a little guilty that you only call them when you want to stay home and slum it, but they're so easy-going they really couldn't care less.

Cocaine

Your excitement to see them again immediately turns to regret when they start "joking" about beating up your ex's new flame or how funny it'd be to break the mirror in the bathroom. You have yet to spend an evening with them where you didn't spend the whole night convinced you were going to jail. You know they're a horrible influence on you but you always feel cool and confident with them. The day after is spent wondering why you keep doing this to yourself as you check your bank statement to see how much money the night cost you.

Ecstasy

You always go for long periods of time without seeing them and when you do eventually get together you're both always super happy to see each other. You keep grinning and talking about how much you've missed them and how long it's been and how much you love them, but eventually it wears off and you start to remember why you stayed away so long the last time. The two of you could not run in more opposite circles. They pretty much exclusively frequent the kinds of bars you hate and aren't interested in going somewhere you want to. They don't seem to have any interest in growing up anytime soon and their new friends are pretty much the same, making you feel like the only adult in a nursery. Unfortunately, the real thing pales in comparison to your memories and stories of them.

Vodka

There's nothing offensive or overbearing about them, to the point where you've been at parties where you didn't know they were there until someone told you later. Perfectly plain in every possible way, they are forgettable to the point that you can go months without thinking of them and only getting a text reminds you they exist. You don't really like them but you don't dislike them either. You would never hang out with them one-on-one, always needing a buffer to keep the conversation going.

Craft beer

You didn't really get to know them until late in college. You would occasionally see them at parties freshman/sophomore year but you were always too busy doing hand stands with Light Beer. Your older friends swore by them but they were just so weird when you tried talking to them, using ten cent words and talking about their travels in Europe. Now you realize what you were missing out on all along. You could easily get dinner with them four nights in a row and then spend the weekend with them at the lake, discovering some new side to their personality with every conversation. You feel a little pride when you tell people they are your friend and instantly bond with strangers who already know them.